Never Wake Up From Your Dreams

"As I take off on an air plane I realize the dream that Im chasing's true. Yes, Im afraid of heights but Im not afraid to fly," - Jon Bellion

Lately I have been having an itch to write more and more. Which has been mentally fulfilling. In person, I usually don't say much and keep many opinions and feelings to myself but this exercise of writing allows me to break it out. It is just a relief. It is like having the luxury to always be able to talk to someone who will only listen and never interrupt you, change ideas, or reply to you. A vent with no future response. A relationship where you can let it all out whether you want to scream some anger out, tell of deep emotional feelings, the love for something, the battle you are fighting, the stress you have built up, or just simply talk of your day or speak of something beautiful...writing will always listen to what you have to say. I dig it.

I could just go on writing out my opinions, things that piss me off (which I rarely show my anger towards something), things that I think are disheartening in our society, the way mainstream media and news ruins the image of life and blah blah, blah blah blah stupid. I could write a whole new post about it but I'll save it for now.

I do want to tell of a struggle I continue to work past everyday. I previously wrote that how moving to San Diego was a lot more difficult then I hyped it out to be. I am not speaking of how I physically had to move all my shit 400 miles away, deal with finding an apartment, a job, a car and on and on. It was most difficult because I spent so much time by myself. Which at first lead me into being depressed, upset, questioning what I was doing and almost giving up on myself, calling it quits and moving back to Reno and doing the same thing I always did there.

THEN I work up one day, as usual, stumbled to the bathroom, admired how great my hair looked and then looked at myself in the mirror (super cliche I know) but I did. I just said to myself. Looking right through my own eyes and told myself, "You look like a bitch Kyle. Stop being such a baby back bitch." Pretty funny, I know, but I was serious with myself. It was a personal pep talk and intervention with myself.

Not only was I talking about my scrawny body that hadn't beaten the hell out of the gym in a couple weeks, but I was talking about not being mentally tough. I needed to make a change for myself in order to pick my self up and pull myself up as if I did a thousand pull-ups hanging from the edge of a cliff and the only way to make it back up safe was to do just one more.

Then I did. I pulled my baby back bitch self up from hanging off that cliff and decided to make a change. A lifestyle change, a mental change, and a physical change and damn did it feel great. Not to mention, my daily listening to a CT Fletcher motivational video, got my ass up quick in order to make a change and do it with meaning and a purpose. Give it a listen, if you're offended by his swearing, I don't care. Someone or something needs to tell how it is and give you a punch in the face and kick in the ass in order for you to dig deep and find what drives you. Develop a mental game that will make you unstoppable with moving forward towards your dreams and creating a life filled with your passions.

Since I have picked myself up from hanging off that cliff, I have been working my gluteus maximus off in order to continue to move forward.

At work...I bar-back for my restaurant,which is three stories, four nights out of the six nights a week I work. It's no easy task and the body takes a beating, no doubt. From carring 80lbs of bottles, up two flights of stairs to stock the fridges on the top level, running around like a mad man on busy nights tending to both bars, squatting down, stocking the alcohol walk ins at the bottom level, to bringing up buckets of ice, it is a demanding position and you got to be in shape. I don't walk up the stairs either, I sprint, with the alcohol tub. Shits cray. I have work to do and it needs to be done fast and done well. My hard work has been paying off for I have been already training for bar tending. A promotion and a step forward and learning about wines and drinks have become a small passion for me. A step forward to achieving something great.

At the gym... I used to consider myself as a Brotégé, as Dom Mazzetti ranks on his Evolution of a Lifting Man. Sure I would lift and hit the gym all week. Only to drink, eat like crap and do nothing to care for the machine over the weekend. I got sick of seeing minimal results and wanted to become a fully committed fitness dude-bro-guy-man freak. Now I have moved up to a solid Gym Rat. I have a strict workout routine, eat super healthy (except for my cheat meals), follow a fitness life and live a fitness life. Before really getting into this fitness lifestyle I was clocked in at 160lbs on a good day, still skinny and small and semi-decently strong. Since I have been working hard every week from the start of June when I decided to make a change, Ive slapped on 13lbs of meat and muscle. Out grew all my pants except two, became wicked stronger, and have had weight lifting change my life and shaping me into a mentally and physically stronger person, and I have no time for stopping. I want to be 200+lbs but not a cloud just a solid rock with sharp edges. Be a part of the 1,000lb club having my bench, squat, and dead lift max total up to 1,000lbs, about 200lbs more to go. Get back to dunking a basketball and be a great athlete again just for myself. Prove nothing to anybody, but prove everything to myself that I CAN do it. It's my dream to do it.

I want to share one thing I have started doing at the gym that has helped me tremendously. Leg day for me is Friday.  Do I love leg day. After a long week, getting ready for a longer work filled weekend, no better way to start it off by kicking my own ass in the gym. Anyway, this it what I have been doing that has helped me mentally and also physically...but it is meant for a more mental toughness. I'll do my squat work out and go till I can barley do the last couple reps on the last set. SO legs are just pure jello. I will then throw on as much more weight as I can as if I was going to work for a max rep, knowing mentally that I can maybe squat out one rep. After I throw the extra heavy weight on, I write down two list of three things that I have been either frustrated with, stressed over, influenced negatively, anything that you believe you need to get out of your life, to over come or something that you feel has been holding you down. I then stand under that bar, lift it off and go. With each squat I look down at the first thing I wrote, say it to myself, and then look up and with all my might I push to stand back up releasing that negative aspect from my mind. I do that for each of the things I have written down and don't stop till I have squatted all of the negativity out. Also instead of doing on rep, which I thought I would only be able to do, I get three reps. It feels great, refreshing and builds character.


At life...Although I am beautifully attached to life right now I still continue to strive forward and will never settle for less in the blueprint that God has for my life.

Fletchmister and I have moved out of our apartment in Pacific Beach, and us two and a few other buddies hit gold on this new house. It is a tad bit inland, only 15 minutes, but an amazing house. Pool, movie theater, man cave and not to mention furnished any way we wanted it. I was able to get a whole bedroom set an actually have a furnished room instead of my bed on a box spring on the floor with a desk and chair, maybe a few paintings to add volume, broke college kid room. The door is always open to whomever needs a mini vacation at our resort, the Thaj Mahal as we call it.

I guess I should tell you that I have completed my last Core Humanities class finally. It was a pain in my ass, of course, but Its done! Now I can finally get the degree in the mail and officially be completed with college. Took me long enough, and cant wait to start paying back the student loans for a degree that really means nothing, yet a goal I am very proud that I have reached and of course, paid for. College was a marathon where you start out with a strong but steady pace but finished even stronger with a all you got left sprint. Except my marathon was extended and during that last few miles I decided to, I don't know, maybe walk a few miles, stop at some bars on the way, play in the sand, pre-post rebel college BS until I decided to hop back on course and casually jog to the finish, but I finished. Ill write another post about college soon called Write That Down.

I miss the hell out of my friends everywhere. My roommates now all grew up together and have been best friends since who knows how long. As I enjoy lots of time by myself, with my dog, and with this wonderful woman that I have been blessed with and very grateful for, who we will write more about later!


Now for some deepness...Thoughts that make you think about what you think and why did you think that when you thought that and how you act towards the way you act after how you just acted, got it?


I sit in the same place I write most of my posts now, on top of my bed, Im listening to Explosions in the Sky and continuing asking myself random questions that just fire different responses from my brain.

This girl I work with goes around asking, What are you doing with your life? She insists everyone has something great to prove and do. Most of the time she hates being there and can't wait for her "real job" to take off. I look at her now, she works seven days a week, always seems so stressed out, waiting for some change to take place, complaining that she can't wait to get out of the restaurant industry and so on. She reflects that working in a restaurant wont bring that level of success people want to reach or bring that sort of happiness people pursue or allow a fulfilling life. I give her credit, she works hard, works a lot, maybe this isn't meant for her, yet she does the job and does it well and she is working towards another job. But always continues to say, Don't you want to get out of here? What are you gonna do with your life?

I see the same reflection in so many of the people I work with, not all, but lots. They just absolutely love to complain about what is so wrong with their life or complain about the littlest things. It drive me nuts internally for about two seconds and then I continue on because negativity is wasted energy. Sure we have assholes that come in and make the work night that much more of a pain, that we have to do a few more extra actions for this high maintenance person or deal with their complaints that they could not get a window seat when they didn't make reservations on a Saturday with 350+ reservations already. When really maybe their life just sucks, they make their life shitty. Who knows the kind of battle they are in but why have it ruin your day?

Happiness is a choice, If you want to be happy, then well...... be happy. If you are unhappy with a situation you are in, make a change and work hard to make those changes. Don't give me this bullshit of waiting to see how things work out in order to make some changes, do what the heck you want to do right now and make those changes yourself! Seek the things that make you feel wonderful. Fuel your passion. Do what it takes in order to get there. Put in your dues and make sacrifices and understand that there is no easy way, it takes hard grit work. It is a essential choice and shift in mindset that will change you forever no matter what the circumstance are. If you turn it around and focus on the positive vibes, positive things will happen. I always tell myself, it could be worse so be grateful that its not. I am no perfectly happy happy joy joy man. I'm still human and sometimes want to either knock someone out, maybe just give them a hug, or simply just need a hug myself. But I work hard to stay moving forward with the right mindset, strong faith, and love.

SO she asks, What exactly do I want to do with my life? I don't know. Who really knows EXACTLY what they want to do with their life? Life would be so boring if you only focused on one goal because you know exactly what you think your here to do and want to do. Or you will be so caught up in what you want with your life that you will block out the best things in life such as friendships, love, experiences, risks, teachings, . My father always tells me, "Work hard to get to the top, but dont leave others behind you because then it will be lonely at the top, bring others up with you."

 If you do seem like you know what you want to do, great, but what happens when you get there? Then what? You're probably thinking Ill deal with that when the time comes...but thank you for just proving my point again. Ahhh, so you don't know exactly what you want to do with your life... And life never goes according to your plan, it goes according to God's plan for you. Personally, sure I want to be successful, own this and that, have a family, travel here and there, experience this or that. I used to keep telling myself, Man if I just had the money to travel around the world, give out all my money to help people around the world and create this magnificent life by always changing the lives of others, life will be just so much better.

Well, reality check you little bitch, Kyle. You don't have all the money in the world! So accept what you do have, work with it. Do what makes you happy and by doing THAT, it will attract the right people to come into your life to which they will change your life and you will change theirs. Damnit, life is supposed to bitch slap you in the face and say wake up or throw a mean hook and knock you out. But guess what, you aint dead...

With all that being said, the point of that is, Yes I am happy with where I am at in life. I enjoy working at a restaurant, a restaurant with so many opportunities.  I set goals to reach daily, monthly, yearly and so on. Once I reach those goals, I continue to set new ones. I sit back and look at my life and see what I need and what I don't need. Sometimes it is difficult to let go of something or someone. Once you do, you receive the "gifts" that have been waiting for you there all a long that is meant to change your life. You are in the position you are in for a reason, embrace that reason and learn from it, grow from it, become a better person.


A new year is approaching and no better way to work towards shifting a mindset in order to better yourself. Hey, I just speak what is on my heart and what I work towards doing. If you take it as a lecture go ahead. If you take it as a lesson, Im grateful and I am with you all along this path as we both move forward on together in life. You dont need a new year to make a change, make a change when you like. But I hope you do it for the betterment of yourself. I know it is easier said than done. Time is the greatest sculptor of all, so allow it to work.


I have been in San Diego for almost a year now. To think where I was when I first moved here to where I am at now is an incredible journey in only a short period of time. It may seem that there is only one season of San Diego weather, I went through four season in my life. It is crazy to think about it, and I blow my own mind when I do. I am very grateful for everything. Thank you for reading my posts it means the world to me. I am trying to expand my posts to lots of different writings, so tell me what you, the reader, would like for me to write about and I will search for insperation to write more and more post. For now, I have began my college years post and working on that.

Much love and Merry Christmas from the Heidt Family.

Although we are all scattered, I love this picture with the city in the background

Steps in the Sand

Well here I am. My hearts sprints when I think of what the future has for me yet I am so beautifully attached with life right now. Mentally, physically, emotionally...just as content as my dog, Kada, when she lays in the grass on her back with the sun in her eyes and I lay next to her and rub her belly. As I sit here, not participating in a discussion for a class (which I hate discussions) because I'd rather write about the finer things life has to offer and the continual downfall of blessings I have received lately.

I'll first start off with the most special woman in my life, my mother. Anybody who knows me, knows how much my mother means to me. She is what keeps me going. Every single day. No matter how shitty of a day it may seem or if I am in a terrible mood, or upset, depressed, angry, frustrated, and so on... I just call her up on the phone and she answers, "Hey Broski!" Right then and there time just halts. How could I even be upset about anything when I see my mother who continually fights Multiple Sclerosis, is alive. Not only is she alive, she continually strives closer and closer to whooping this disease's ass while giving out a love that even God would envy.

Im about to share something that I have not really told anyone in my life. Not that I have chose to keep it away or anything, it just has not come up in deep conversations. But I write because it brings me an immense feeling of emotions and I only feel like I am doing just a part of my calling in order to share my life with others. Hopefully it brings the joy and strength or what ever some one else needs in order to deal with what they have going in life. To have time stand still just for 10 minutes as they read what I share. It is an magnificent obsession of mine. It is hard for me to even think back to what all happened, let alone sit here and write about the beginning of this long journey.

I remember when I was about five years old, my little sister Danyelle and I were hanging out in the office of my father's Karate school in South Lake Tahoe. It was another night to where my father was teaching his class while us, his kids, sat this class out and decided to hang out with mom in the office. During the day my mom and dad had bought Danyelle and I Kit Kat and Snickers candy bars and they were in the fridge in my dads office. My sister and I were sitting on the ground and my mom was sitting in my dad's black leather desk chair in front of the desk when we asked her if we could have the candy bars. She was just about to get them for us when the phone rang and she sat up to answer it. She grabbed the phone, sat down on the chair again and all of a sudden her face went blank. I remember looking at her and saying Mom? Mom? The phone then dropped from her ear and she began having a seizure, its actually called a grand mal seizure. She was shaking in the chair to which then she eventually fell out of and onto the ground and was convulsing even more. I quickly ran to the door and called for my dad to come over here. He said in just one minute, I begun crying and he knew something was wrong.

He came sprinting over into the room to find my mother on the ground in the middle of this seizure. To which now both my sister and I are crying and my father has got my mother up in his arms as he dials for an ambulance to come. As I dig into the depths of my memory, the last thing I remember are the flashing lights from the ambulance in the street through the Karate school's  glass door entrance.

Being only five and my little sister at four, I thought that was the last time I was going to see my mother.



Now there is a long 20 years since then and she is still here. Even though she cussed out multiple doctors, even tried to fight some Im sure, she finally accepted the fact she had Multiple Sclerosis. She and our family have been battling non stop for her. She still never gives up and neither will we.

Now fast forward to lets... say... June 2014...

I love San Diego, obviously... And now my mother, father and littlest sister have moved down here as well. My dad has prayed for years for the move to happen in order for my mother to get down here to get treatment from one of the top Multiple Sclerosis programs in the country. It was a move that was going to literally squeeze us down to the last drop of life, but we still had one drop in order to keep going. My parents moved into a hotel room and lived there for three months. My father had given up everything in order to care for my mom. He took one giant leap of faith in order to be fully engulfed in this test. My dad gave up his job, sold and gave everything away from our house, and moved on down here to San Diego to completely start over.

There are so many moments, situations, and tests in life that are there to fine tune and sculpt you into the person you have been created to be. It was difficult for my parents to live in this little hotel room and for my littlest sister to sleep on a small cot in the corner all summer in the same room as my parents. My family was living of little to no money and only small amount of food that they could afford to keep in the room... God has a funny way of reassuring that he is still there and taking care of us. My father was denied from multiple places and apartments in order to move into. Finally, one day he spoke with a woman who had an available apartment in Point Loma just up the street from where they were staying in the hotel. Now this is how crazy the works of God are. The woman who was renting the place was from New York and her first cousins were Heidt's....Mind Blown. We have never met anyone that has had the last name we have and spell it the same way. Needless to say they were able to finally get this apartment and it was perfect for my parents and my mother. A very wide open apartment for my mom to easily push and cruise around in her wheel chair.

Sometimes it is difficult to ask for help. Very difficult. I do not know the answer why it is difficult but at times it just is. But it was something that needed to be done and the response was incredible. It still leaves me in awe of how much love we all possess and are able to share within each other.

There was a fundraiser website that myself and a bit help of my father were able to put together in order to raise money to help my mother and my family. We posted it on Facebook, because that is were the world can be reached, and within minutes donations, messages, and calls begun to pour in. The fundraiser reached it's halfway mark in a week and overall goal in two and a half weeks. AMAZING! The fundraiser didn't stop either, donations still continued to pour in not only from the fundraiser we set up online but also from the place I spend more time at then anywhere, my work.

My workplace put together a fundraiser for my family and I and they raised even more money. It was an overwhelming experience that so many people wanted to help our family. With both fundraisers coming in my parents were able to get settled into their apartment and it helped with food and some furniture. It also helped and still helps with the treatment for my mother. From her doctor visits at UCSD to her acupuncture, which has done THE most amazing life changing thing for my mother. Each week she goes to acupuncture two times and the doctor there has been shaping my mom up. He has taken away her dizziness, the pain in her legs, he has gotten my mom standing up straight and walking like a champion and so many other improvements. It is truly such an incredible sight to see. From the first day she was down here to now it is a 180 degree turn. All of the love from us and everyone keeps her going. Also my dad pushes her to not only be physically tough, for the better of course, but mentally tough. He is right by her side every step of the way...literally. He walks with my mom everywhere whether he is pushing her in her wheel chair or standing up walking next to her. Although Im sure my mother wants to just yell at my dad, she just yells at him anyway and continues to fight on. The man is a STUD. I am blessed to have such an amazing father to look up to.

I honestly do not know how to describe the feeling when you feel the love and presence of so many amazing people in our lives. I am a music fanatic, of course, but I can maybe believe it is a feeling of standing on a stage with a million people looking at you and as soon you start singing a song that you wrote and then they start singing along with you. You see the many people who believed in you and whom you love and all those people are staring at you signing the words to your song because they love you right back.  The amount of people you have touched in your life coming back to have them touch you in the same emotionally intimate way. It's crazy. I am at loss for words.

We are blessed. We all are blessed, each in our own way. Even if it seems dark clouds are all around you there is still one light that will shine through and that is the light to focus on. Even the dark clouds can pour down rain for which the rain is a gift yet the light is the meaning, the purpose on to which you must stay focused on. The greatest gift is to give with no intentions of receiving something in return. It just makes the world a better place.

So thank you everyone who has helped us whether is was a donation or a prayer, it is greatly appreciated.

Now you may be asking yourself, "Why did he title this post, Steps in the Sand?!" The other day I walked down the beach. It was a warm day, sun was shinning as it always does. The top of my head was reflecting up the rays and I was just in this zone. I always get so caught up in thinking about my life. From where I started on the beach to where I was now was a long distant walk. I looked down at my feet, sand cuddling with my toes, and salt swimming its way up my feet and legs, and I look down the path I have walked. I notice my footsteps in certain areas in the sand that have been vanished away by the ocean magician. Then BAM! Life analogy hit me...

Look at where you are now...go ahead...look at where you are at now. You have come a long way from where you started. Wherever you are going, you started somewhere. Along that path there are steps you have had to take in order to reach where you are at now. When you look back at all these steps, some are washed away for a reason and some steps are deeper in the sand, or further up the wet sand not being washed away. The ones that have seemed to wash away, are washed away for a reason. You were there at one point but you have moved on. The deeper steps that are not washed away are aspects you can look back at but they wont be the same. And for the steps that are still visible in the sand are defining points in your life. The ones that have shaped you into the beautiful person you are today. You remember these steps. Whether they were lessons, experiences, life changing moments, major events, or just cherished memories they are still there for a reason and the ones that have been washed away have been washed away FOR A REASON.

"But like, I was like, walking in the water. So like my footsteps, like aren't there..."
-Well maybe stray away from the water and create, dream, make goals, strive for personal growth and improvement, whatever you'd like. Be in a place that you can see where you have come from and where you are at now and keep going forward.

"But like all my steps have like been washed away from, like the ocean..."
-Well there is your gift, A clean slate to create what you want and leave new steps in your own life and the lives of others.

This is where I am. And that is where I am going.

Just keep going. 

I can't thank everyone enough for the love they have showed my family. The fundraiser is open for 14 more days and it will end on my mother's birthday, and here is the last time I will post the Fundraiser
And thank you for reading, I love writing. I have been working on another one and I will post that one soon called Never Wake Up From Your Dreams. Much love, blessed and be blessed.

I've got Sunshine

I have been in San Diego for five months and lets say I have been riding different waves of life since Ive been here. Some waves have had the perfect barrel to ride it out, others have just crashed down right on me and whooped my ass. Unfortunately there has been more waves kicking my ass then there is me riding them out. Now a close to perfect swell has come in and I have been shredding perfect wave after perfect wave...

In the Beginning,

Cole (aka the Fletchmister) and I have been here in beautiful Pacific Beach since January 7th. We left at 5:30 a.m. January 7th and hit the dark roads, still possibly hungover from our going away party or sick from the $80 bill a few of us racked up from Jack in the Box that night to which we ate about $15 of the food, but hey 40 tacos and every burger on the menu along with a steak burrito and mozzarella sticks always sounds so delicious.... at 4 a.m...I guess. Anyway... When we left my parents house in Minden, it was a brisk 35 degrees and I had a long sleeve shirt, leather jacket, long socks, comfy jeans and a beanie to keep my hair warm. I have never drove a big moving truck and didn't think it was going to be so bad. I have a hard time in cars or in trucks if I am in the back seat or stuck in traffic because I get a lot of anxiety, I don't know why I just do. The drive through the mountains and open roads was actually not a terrible experience. It was easy, a huge truck to myself and thankfully it had an auxiliary cord so I could plug my phone in, have my music, and sing my heart out to the steering wheel.

Then it was as if I arrived in the city of Impissedoff on the GTFO my way freeway in the desert of Road Rage, California. Construction everywhere, two lanes, an extreme amount of cussing and explicit content music due to the fact I am in this massive truck, my anxiety is through the roof, and Im ready to start bustin fools in my yellow truck. It was a whole new anxiety experience, just me in this massive truck, passing bigger 18-wheelers just a couple inches away from me and staying in this one lane on a bumpy road while construction is causing everyone to engage in road rage. To which I could just crush the little minion cars who get in my way. There is no highway this day, thus it is only my way and move b**** get out da way. Unless one is driving an 18-wheeler then its obviously only their way...and Ill gladly get out of their way.

Finally we get into Pacific Beach and once again Im heated because finding parking is like trying to find the holy grail. Which instead I just parked this massive truck in the ally behind our apartment because I do what I want and didn't care anymore as long as I was out of the damn truck. When I step out with all my warm clothes on, instantly begin sweating because it was 80 degrees out! Perfect weather for the middle of winter time. Now we have to move everything in the truck to inside our apartment. Moving is God's way of showing us on earth of how horrible hell is. It's punishment and after a long 10 hour drive all I want is a nice cold beer and some sand under my feet. But we move everything in and let it sink in that we are actually living in San Diego now and a new book is just about to be opened.


When I decided that I was going to move away from everything and completely start over I knew it was going to be a huge test for me, and thats exactly what it has been for me since I have been here. When I was in Reno and thought how amazing San Diego is going to be when I get there was just a partial illusion. Sure, San Diego is amazing and I am so grateful to be here but It wasn't as great as I had hyped it up to be after being here.

The first couple months were a party, honestly just a damn party where we went to the gym during the days of the week just to feel like we were getting jacked in order to blow money all weekend. Also the first couple months, almost every weekend we had friends visit. Which was incredible and we had great times and experiences with everyone who came and our doors are always open to whomever wants to visit, but we got distracted. Money was running out and we needed to find jobs. Cole found a job pretty quick, or well faster then I did and he began working everyday. But had the weekends off, and I didn't see him much and I was also still trying to get settled and figure things out. I was alone all the time and mentally started to beat myself up and this is where things started to get rough for me.

I spent a lot of time by myself. Which consisted of a lot of thinking, conversations with myself, "what am I doing with my life" moments and just being mentally knocked down. I was applying to lots of jobs, hearing really nothing in return. I would wake up, ride my bike to the gym, and come home. Thats it, I guess I was getting depressed or in a state of depression because I didn't want to do anything and felt as if moving here was a bad idea. Then also there were things that I have always dealt with at home becoming what seemed to be worse. Which I have dealt with my whole life, but just being away made me felt helpless. I missed everything about Reno and home. Being able to call up any one of my friends and be able to go do something. Just having social interactions and having fun having or the luxury of always having someone around. I was considering just moving home and just calling it quits. Although the weekends were fun and I was able to get out and about I just feel like I kept falling down and wasn't going anywhere and was going to find myself getting caught up in the wrong situation and really hitting a rock bottom. And on top of that I was pretty much broke and the jobs I were applying for were giving me no answer. Thankfully, this was just all a test.

I always refer to God throwing curve balls at me. Except these curve balls he was throwing keeps striking me out every time or hitting me where it counts and I could barley make down the first base line. Everything was being tested, my patience, my faith, my mental game and it just seemed as if I was going down. But there is always a defining point, How was I going to respond to which life had its tightest grip on me squeezing me to which I was just going to pop like a grape and then be eaten. I once heard to be your best in your darkest moment... Life is never that bad, it is amazing (I could write a whole other post for that) but when the candle light almost dimmed right out... a little grasp of hope found its way through the darkest of clouds and majestically shined down upon my face to give me a breath of life...

Some of the best things in life come unexpectedly and that is exactly what happened to me. When I was applying for jobs I came across a fancy seafood house in La Jolla. It reminded me a lot of where I used to work at Sterling's except this was in La Jolla... downtown La Jolla, La Jolla being one of the wealthiest places in the country. Anyway, I applied online and I went in the next night to drop off a resume as well and just get my face in there. In order to get there I had to ride the bus 30 minutes which was my first experience of transit system. But when I got there a manager wouldn't see me cause they were too busy, they told me to come back the next day earlier. SO I did. Exactly at the time they told me, I was there. Freshly shaved head, suited up, looking like I was attending a red carpet event in order to get a job. The restaurant was only open to step in and make reservations, this time so I thought for sure I could see a manager. Once again, they wouldn't see me... I just gave my resume to the hostess and asked if they could just pass it on to the managers. Right there I thought to myself, well that was a waste of time and lost faith in that job.

Then I continued applying to tons of jobs, all kinds of jobs, I was even thinking of just dancing on the corner with a little bucket to try to get some cash income..but I didn't. Then one night I was doing homework for my favorite subject ever, español, which es spanish for Spanish, while watching March Madness when I get a phone call. The number pops up and says its from La Jolla, I ignore it cause Im stubborn with answering numbers I don't know. They leave a message and it's the manager from the seafood restaurant in La Jolla!!! And the managers name was Kyle as well, so I called right back and one thing led to the next. Three interviews later, I was finally hired at Eddie V's in La Jolla. BALLIN'

This place is pretty incredible and has a view that is priceless. It looks out over La Jolla Shores and out across the ocean. There is live jazz music every night. It is just an overall beautiful badass experience. Upstairs of the three story restaurant, there is an a amazing view. It looks out all over La Jolla and the shores then across the endless ocean. Down below the restaurant there are a ton of seals and sea lions that serenade the guest and of course the rest of the employees. Their whide ranged vocals sound kind of like a mix between a fork scratching a plate and an out of tune tuba. There are also these psycho swimmers that swim hundreds of yards out, it blows my damn mind. Some of the swells that come in have huge waves and these little dinky psycho freak swimmers are just swimming along. Im sure most of their inspiration comes from Dory in Finding Nemo. Also not to mention tons of famous people stop by and eat as well. SO far I have seen Mr. Stephen Curry himself and made sure I personally brought out all of his food, Shawne Merriman who plays line backer and defensive end for the Chargers, Corey Wootton who plays for the Vikings, and also lots of other awesome people and wealthy people as well. There is not a night when I get off work and don't see a Bentley, Rolls Royce, Lamborghini, Maserati or Ferrari parked outside. Its it pretty cool and next time I go shopping for a car, it will most likely be in La Jolla at one of those dealerships....after I win the CA lotto of course then everybody gets a car!!! Thanks for the inspiration Oprah.

Now, life has been rollin. It has been such a blessing to live here and I enjoy everyday I am here. I work a ton, six days a week, but I usually don't have to go to work till later in the afternoon. Which leaves me with a whole day to myself to which I beat the hell out of the gym, surf in the ocean, lay out next to the bay or on the beach, explore as much as I can and just enjoy my days. On my days off, I try to go do something different whether its kayaking, hiking, drinking the amazing craft beers from SD, wandering around trying new restaurants out, and on and on since there in an endless list of activities to do here in the best city. So now things have picked up and I am very grateful for everything. It was just a test, how was I going to PROgress when my world just seemed to REgress. I also have made a big list of things to do in San Diego, such as swim with the sharks in La Jolla bay, go to the zoo, take a selfie with the seals, see tons of concerts, and many more things. Life has just taken off... totally brah.

Now.....

Being here in San Diego I have had to develop an ego check in order to ride the bus regularly. The beauty of riding the bus is that its cheaper then having a car and paying for gas. On the other side, the bus is quite the experience every single time I step onto it. From crazy crack heads to beautiful foreign girls. I never know what to expect. Sometimes the bus smells as if they are trying to grow marijuana in the back or there is a candle with the special scent of BO burning somewhere hidden. Maybe I should just start bringing a can of Febreze and a can of Lysol just to make it out of there alive. At times the bus is packed and uncomfortable. But I have had some interesting conversations with strangers about the most random things in life. Other times the bus is empty and I can sprawl out and get comfortable with the AC keeping me cool. But usually I am able to find a seat and I just put my headphones in and get lost in time. Bus rides home at night are way less stressful because usually no one is on the bus. I have my 8 Mile moments with hip hop playing in my ears and trying to convince myself to enter a rap battle or at least a lip sync battle... Anyway the bus has been a humbling experience and also it really is a great way to get around this beautiful city.

I don't know if anyone knows, but...ok SPOILER ALERT.... the weather here in San Diego is amazing. Since day one when we arrived to now, weather has not required me to wear a sweatshirt. Except one time when we visited Newport Beach and it got chilly at night and I may have randomly bought a nice sweater at a random store when I had one too many schooners at the bar... But I do notice my leather skin getting weaker now because there has been a few days where it has been only 65 degrees out and it feels chilly. Like dang, I may actually have to wear a long sleeve!! I wake up and head outside and if its chilly I am like, What is this shit...Its cold enough for me to wear a tee-shirt in stead of a tank top!! Usually the weather is 80 degrees... we have had a couple heat waves which it was 100 degrees out and I wanted to jump in a barrel of frosty beer but I couldn't I just drank the barrel of frosty beer instead as I was sweating just because I was breathing.

Schooners are the new thing for me. Its like a goblet of beer. As if you or me were a King....at a bar...drinking cheap $4 beers...from Mexico. Or a delicious Red Bull Vodka Slushy that is guaranteed to spice up your life. Personally I think it should be called the Spice Girl Slushy...but thats just my opinion. San Diego Ive heard is one of, or if not, the top craft beer brewing city. It is incredible... I eat everything California style. California Burritos, California Sandwiches, California californias. Basically just adds steak, avocado, fries and at times bacon. I also eat massive amounts of tacos, but I have shied away from Taco Tuesday because it usually just turns into Tequila Tuesday which eventually leaves me with What in the Hell Wednesday or Why do I like tequila Wednesday or pretty much Why Ill never drink again in the history of my life again Wednesdays. Moving forward, Ive been working my ass off in the gym and its definitely paying off. #gym #train #fitness #shredded #dedicated #Shredicated #gettingcutgettingbutt #ladybait #MANtana #repsforJesus #TheEmpireLiftsBack #TraptimusPrime...


RUNDOWN: It seems as if everyone is very kind here too, or just laid back and live the beach life. I mean I gave a random dude a high five while riding my bike the other day. Pretty cool. There is a legend named Slow-Mo who is here and his presence is guaranteed to light up your day. I hope one day you can see him and hear his story. I also have found it fun playing the CA lotto a few times a week, hopefully one day my persistence pays off. I have found meditation and yoga to be very helpful and positive for my life. I ate shit hard on my bike in the middle of the road in front of a lot of people, it hurt but I laughed, probably broke my wrist, all good. After summer, I believe we are moving to a house either on the beach or on this hill just south of La Jolla which is going to be awesome. And finally, our doors are still always open for whoever wants to visit.



Life is great and I am so grateful for the experience I have been moving through and to the stronger man I am being shaped into. I have also began to have an idea to what I want to do in life and I take little steps towards it each day, continually reaching goals and working to help others and spread the love. I hope you have enjoyed reading this blog and I thank you for those who do, it means a lot to me. Even though I don't write as much as I should I will continue to write when I can.


And one last thing before I wrap this up....

I obviously didn't make it home for graduation. I had planned everything out to return to Reno and participate in graduation and walk with everyone but I just couldn't make it happen. I was very upset about it, I even shed maybe two or three tears, but they were thick tears. It sucked I didn't make it back to Reno for graduation which I was looking forward to very much. But yes I have finished college...Finally. I will post another blog of my college years later but it was a good 6 1/2 year run and tons of memories that I will forever be grateful for. There were so many people that I wish I could have seen one last time before we all started post grad life and I hope to stay connected with lots of you. As of now...June 19th-23rd I will be returning to Reno, Tahoe, and Carson Valley. I most definitely can NOT miss the Rodeo, I would love to get a awesome day in at Tahoe, float the river, drink beers, slap wine bags and see as many people as I can. More details soon after I finish BUYING A CAR! Which is happening...really happening...I'm a big kid now! See you soon, much love and good vibes always.