Now,
"The two most important days of your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why,"- Mark Twain
I have came to the realization again... that I LOVE to write. I lost sight of what it brought me. I truly love to write. The same way I love to play basketball or snowboard. It allows me to step out of this world and spend time on myself and be myself. It is a passion that succeeds in growing. Each time I go through a time so great or go through a time so difficult, I find myself at my computer desk, putting on my writing music and pouring out my thoughts. It is a way to vent. It is a way to heal. It is a way to grow. It is a way to share joyful times and sad times. I am going to continue to write because it feels amazing. I have now made it one of my priorities to continue to spill out my thoughts from a cup into my ocean of life. The feedback I receive from so many people warms my heart and fills my soul up to levels near the heavens. It is an unexplainable joy I get that I am able to help someone from the simple letters I let flow onto a page.
If I could write and make a living by doing it for the rest of my life it would be as if I have never worked a day in my life. I have lived my life to the fullest each and every day. I encourage you to find what you love. What do you love to do? Do not let any body tell you anything different or try to question your dreams, beliefs, activities, jobs, or people you love, just do it. I seek and pray to understand my calling and the closest I get to that is sharing what I believe and writing it out for others to see. It is where I am able to just be me. I would love to be able to write and then speak in front of people. Bridge the gap between writing and public speaking but for now I see that writing is one of my callings to do because of the love I receive when I do it.
I love to encourage people. To have them feel loved. To have them feel motivated. To have them fill encouraged. To let them know they have a purpose, there is hope, and to push themselves to places they never thought they could reach and achieve. Whether they are having a tough time at their job, tough time with their significant other, tough times with family or just tough time in Life. I love to encourage people to move through it and continue to build up from their foundation and to continue to grow through life.
I love to serve people. I am here for a purpose. You are here for a purpose. I will serve my God and I will serve the people he brings into my life in any way I am called to do. I want to continue to learn to be a servant. Whether it is to a stranger, to my friends, to my future wife, to my parents or to myself. I want to be a leader of servanthood. Set the example and shine so bright that others want to be a part of that too!
I love to help people. Whether it is helping them move into their new home. Or it is sitting next to someone who is going through a difficult situation and standing by them in silence just to let them know that I am there. I am here for anyone. I ask God everyday to use me in ways to shine some light and faith onto someone. Sometimes he presents a difficult way that I can help someone and sometimes he presents an easy way to help someone.
I love to love. Now do not take that the wrong way. I believe our culture has this infatuation of the idea of love. I only try to be a reflection of the love that I am given. Love is all I encourage and share when people question my faith. I wear a cross around my neck because the cross is love. The cross is the bridge to true love. God is love. We go love people because God loves us not because we want God to love us. Take away the religious norms or the rules you believe are there and how religion is suppose to control your life. Ill tell you to throw that all out and understand that it is LOVE. There are many ways to love. You love your best friend, your spouse, your family, yourself but the main point is to share the message of love and give love because that it was is given to each and every single one of us everyday.
That is what I work to do everyday. Those are all pieces of my calling. Those are the actions I was born to carry out throughout my life. After this past month of difficulty and adversity, I have come to the conclusions that I will still encourage people. I will still serve people. I will still help people. I will still love people. I will still write. And that is that.
There are times when you feel your mind and your own self is scattered through out, maybe a feeling of being lost. There are different areas of your life that do not match up or you are trying to figure out how they match up. It is very difficult trying to understand them and to put them all together. You are trying to connect the dots and cannot figure out what and why things are going the way they are going. It is as if your life is this big white blank page with all these dots. Then you are trying to figure out how to connect them all to create this beautiful image. Except there are no instructions, numbers or letters that tell you the correct path to draw in order to achieve this beautiful image.
You cant connect the dots when you are looking forward. You cannot connect the dots when you are visioning your future. You cannot connect the dots when you are thinking about the destination. You can only connect them looking backwards. Understanding that there is a purpose for everything. After that journey you have grown through. After that pain you have felt. After taking that leap of faith and landing into something that was planned for you. So you have to trust and believe in your heart, your gut, yourself and most importantly God. Fight for the things you love and the dots will find themselves connecting. Believe the dots will connect down the road. It will give you the strength and confidence to follow your heart even when it seems when you are lost. Do not be so caught up in your grief that you lose sight of your dreams and what is out there.
Something hit me the other day that I want to share. The real challenge of growth whether it is mentally, emotionally or spiritually, comes when you get knocked down. Knocked down hard. Maybe even knocked out, but you are not dead. Your heart beats, you have people who love you, you have a significant purpose in life. You have an opportunity to change the way you live, the way you love, the way you act. I can guarantee that you DO have purpose and that you ARE loved. It takes a lot courage to start over again. But when you take that step, greatness is waiting for you. When things seem to be out of your control do not push at them, give them to God and he will take care of them for you. I promise he will take care of them. Do not let your feelings and emotions get the best of you. At the end of your feelings there is nothing. At the end of each principle is a promise.
When you are under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and into the world and it shows it's true colors. So do not try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work in you so you become mature and well developed. Leaving you not deficient or empty in any way. If there is an absence of adversity in my life or your own life there may be an absence of progress and growth as well. So when you do come across adversity use your faith. Lean on your faith and God more then ever and I can promise you that your faith and God will hold you up and shape you up into a person you never imagined you could be.
Carl Lentz, my new favorite pastor, is the pastor of Hillsong Church in New York City. For about the past week I have been listening to his sermons as much as I can. One or two a day at least. Taking notes, applying it to my life, sharing his messages in my writings and so forth. My writings are definitely reflected upon from his messages. They are so powerful and I highly suggest you watch and/or listen. No matter what you believe, his messages are filled with love, hope, compassion, passion and funny jokes as well. They are just messages to which you can reflect upon and use in your own life.
The trial you and I are going through is not even about ourselves or "I". Its able the people that need to walk through us in order to get through their next part of this journey. What I have been telling myself is that I want to be the best of the best, even when it seems as if Im going through the worst of the worst. You can do that too. See it through. Tell yourself I was born for this. Most importantly, Do not give up!
Now with some final thoughts...
Like Mark Twain's quote above, the day you were born was number one of most important days in your life. Now number two is why? You were born for this life. You have the choice to do with it what you please. To act the way you want to act. To love the one who you want to love. To build a life you want to build. But God has something greater for you. Maybe your still searching for your calling. I know I am. What I need to do is think of what can I do with what I have right now? What do I have right now that will only better me in the future and lead me to my calling?
Looking at this past month I have grown beyond measures. From lowest of lows to climbing up to highest of highs, only to keep going up. Maybe before my life took a dive, I was depressed and grey. Which maybe played a factor to lead to me loosing something I truly loved in my life. Then to not being focused, to not looking to God. I don't know but all that has lead me to the position I am in right now. In this very moment. I still continue to pray for myself and others. I pray that I am able to continue to move forward. I pray for her and her happiness, although our paths have separated. I pray that God continues to work in both of our hearts individually. I pray and ask God to use me everyday. I pray for love, both the kinds I can give everyone and the kind of love I can give to someone special. I pray for anyone who is hurting to find comfort, who is lost to find clarity, who is broken to find the builder and I pray for You.
The lesson I am learning is that I WAS BORN FOR THIS. I heard these word preached to me and I want to share them with you.
"I am not going to let this destroy me. I am coming back. This is what I stand for and this is what I believe. Im standing up for my dreams, my peace of mind, for the love I have to give. I will fight for the desires of my heart and I will seek God continually. I take full responsibility to take myself to where I want to go and where I want to be. It doesn't matter what happens to me along the way, what matters is what I can do about it." God is speaking to you, so just listen and have faith.
Apply that to you as well. I bet you will feel better after you read that to yourself!
As I try to write more and more I will continue to reach out and make myself available and be here for anyone who needs someone. Email me kyleheidt@gmail.com or message me on Facebook and I would love to chat. About anything! I am always up for lending a hand in need, whether you need a video, quote, conversation, meme, or just need someone to tell you that your loved and you have a purpose and you are not alone. Thank you for reading.
